I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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