Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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