Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize