She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize