32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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