Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I faked an abortion last night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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