I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize