You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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