Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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