found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
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Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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