I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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