Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize