im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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