I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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