You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize