i'm signing you up for texting rehab
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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