her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it glows. i had to have it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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