they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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