she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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