Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize