bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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