as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize