So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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