I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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