I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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