I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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