i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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