So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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