just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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