i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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