Someone shit on the floor
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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