I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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