so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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