im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i came on her dog
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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