Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize