eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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