You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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