Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
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