May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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