there's paper in my vomit.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
why is half of my head shaved?
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