I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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