why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize