my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize