im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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