I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize