a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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