I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize