9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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