just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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