i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm too high and old for this...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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